Christmas gift procrastination
Christmas gift procrastination is the worse. No one wants to be that person going to Target on December 22nd, having to purchase the left-over gag gifts from the men’s section labeled ‘Under $25’. You know that section well. I know you do. Showing up with one of those gifts is a massive giveaway that you did, in fact, wait until the last minute, trust me. Everyone knows no one actually needs a set of three wooden puzzles, a desk-sized hockey game, or a shower beer holder. That one is useless anyway; just hold the damn beer with one hand while you shampoo your hair with the other.
I know a few who have no issue with Christmas procrastination. I recently spoke with one of them, asking if I could interview them on their technique for an exposé … this being the exposé, of course. They prefer to be kept anonymous, probably because they realized how anal they sounded, sorry but not sorry. Nonetheless, I was told that I should treat the month of December like I am training for an Ironman Triathlon. However, instead of creating a workout schedule, they suggest creating a shopping schedule. Instead of making lists of meal prep groceries, they recommend making lists of Christmas presents to buy. Instead of setting alarms to wake up early for the gym, they suggested the alarm to wake up early to get to the mall before the unorganized people wandered around looking like lost puppies. I could see the logic for a split second, then reality hit me. The lists are thrown away by mistake, shopping schedules are interrupted by the inability to find parking, and alarms are consistently snoozed. It’s just a habit we all can’t break.
Part of me wishes I was better at not procrastinating when it comes to Christmas shopping, but then I look at the outcome of my bad habit over the years and am astonished by the unique gifts I was able to snag. A hippo cookie jar, a golden turkey, a hotdog toaster, an inflatable reindeer hat, a puzzle with my face on it, a molcajete, a squirrel nutcracker, and one square foot of land in Scotland. Yup, I caved on that Instagram advertisement. Fair warning, Instagram advertisements feed on the Christmas procrastinators.
